7 Keys to Coping
As I state in my book, I am not sure to what extent my rehabilitation efforts contributed to Eve’s recovery.However, I am certain that many of my daily practices helped me to lower my stress level so that I could cope with the monotony, frequent frustrations and major and minor crises of caregiving a brain trauma survivor. You might ask, “How did that help? Well, let’s take something as simple as daily communications. In the beginning, Eve was relatively incoherent and seemingly non-responsive. However, I began noticing that on the occasions I calmed down long enough to focus on Eve, I could tell she was sending me all sorts of informative messages on a non-verbal level. When I was calm, I could “read” her body language, measure her attention span, and pick-up on her involuntary sounds and movements—all of which conveyed her reaction to me, the environment or the task at hand. Initially, it was almost like learning a foreign language—but with one important exception. I already knew it! It was primal…it was intuitive. All I had to do was slow down and calm down enough to participate in the communication process. Most days now Eve functions at a high level—but there are still glitches in her reactions and behaviors. Often I’m fooled into expecting total recovery, and when something goes wrong, it throws me much more than it did in the early days. As my patience and tolerance crumble, I am reminded once again that it’s best if I remain calm in order to better “read” the situation. When calmness is a daily habit, it comes to me much faster and more easily. So, I’m writing these seven keys to coping for two reasons: to remind ME to practice them daily and to hopefully help YOU. 1. Begin the day by getting in touch with nature. Take a walk physically or embark on a creative visualization in soothe your mind, body and spirit.
2. Ask the heavens above (or whatever you perceive as a power greater than yourself) for help in prioritizing the day. Write your to-do list if you wish; but when you’re done, mentally hand it over to your higher power.
3. Every hour or two, devote a few minutes to saying a favorite prayer for strength or repeating a calming phrase or mantra. Or simply take three deep breaths, exhaling slowly.
4. Call at least one good, reliable friend a day. Or better yet, ask them to call you at a regular time.
5. Late in the day, write a gratitude list of just two or three good things that happened to you that day that you didn’t expect. If you feel like it, you might want to thank the heavens for these fortunate “coincidences.” (I cannot tell you how many times this simple, quick exercise saved me from depression, or worse.)
6. When you retire for the night, lock up all your worries in an imaginary box and mentally hand them over to the heavens or your higher power for safe-keeping. Promise…they’ll be there in the morning for you to retrieve.
7. Ask the heavens above or your own subconscious mind to help you solve a problem or prioritize tomorrow’s tasks while you sleep. (Caution: conscious thinking messes up this process.) Try it a few times; it works.
